This website has now been up and running for six whole months. We launched our first posts on International Women’s day, that is, Friday 8 March 2019. In that time, we at Force, have been incredibly fortunate to discover a vast array of women doing some truly amazing things. We’ve had so many women who have been happy to contribute to our site, tell us their stories, and help us develop our community. We’ve also been lucky enough to participate in a range of activities, with individuals and groups who have warmly welcomed us, excited to share their interests. Over the past half a year, we’ve been inspired, awestruck, and found new hobbies of our own.
For us, Force Mujer is a way of celebrating women. It’s shocking that in 2019, women are still made to feel inferior on a daily basis, for every reason you can think of. One thing that is often said about women, is that its other women who cause the most issues, who are mean, bitchy, isolating. It’s the girls bullying other girls at school for not having the right clothes or for being “ugly”. It’s women in the workplace with catty remarks or gossip about their colleagues. It is estimated that even online, 50% of trolls are female. But why is this?
Women are expected to be everything, all at once. They carry the expectations of generations while also being subjected to a rapidly changing world. We’re expected to be mothers, but everyone has an idea of how many children you should have, what age you should have them, what they should be eating, how much tv they watch. We’re expected to go to work, but in many heterosexual relationships, it’s still the woman who is expected to pick up the majority of the housework and childcare. We’re expected to know how to cook and enjoy it, to attend the PTA meetings and remember to send a card to everyone at Christmas. We’re expected to appear a certain way, act a certain way, and hold certain opinions. Mothers should wear conservative clothes and not go clubbing. Single women should make sure they behave “properly” in order to be attractive to men. Women should be serious “because women aren’t funny”, but they still have to smile for fear of having “resting bitch face” or being told to “cheer love” by some rude git on his cigarette break.
Women who make an effort with their appearance are “vain” and “shallow”, those who don’t are accused of “not making an effort”.
Women who work out or diet are “high maintenance” and those who don’t are accused of “letting themselves go”.
Women who read are “bookish”, those who don’t are “uneducated”.
Women who play sports are “manly”, those who don’t are “boring”.
Women who dress provocatively are “slutty”, those who don’t are “frumpy”. Women who enjoy sex are “whores”, those who don’t or don’t openly talk about it are “prudish”.
We are given a very narrow lane in which to travel, and any straying is met with insults from all sides.Very often, the game is set up for us to lose. There’s no way we can win.
Women hate on each other because we can’t do everything. You just can’t. Every choice we make cuts off two more, and each is subjected to scrutiny. Women criticise others in order to reinforce in themselves, the belief that the choice they’ve made is the best one. We ridicule how a woman dresses so that we feel better about what we are wearing. We insult a woman’s sex life so that we feel better about our own. We belittle a woman’s choice of career so Everything is up for appraisal. When it’s hard to be happy with yourself and confident in your choices, it’s far easier to bring down those around you. But female friendship is one of the most powerful things in the world. Female friends are there when you have a shitty day at work and listen to you complain about your sexist boss, they come over with ice cream and wine and tell you he wasn’t worth it, they run 5ks on a boiling hot Saturday because you thought it would be a “great idea!”.
At Force Mujer, we talk a lot about physical and mental wellbeing. For us, celebrating womanhood is intrinsically linked to both those things. We believe that being mentally and physically healthy can provide us with the skills and capabilities to achieve the things we want to achieve. But we think it’s vital to our wellbeing, to see other women achieving these amazing things. In a world that wants to bring women down, it’s no wonder that women quite often feel really rather shit about themselves. When we see other women thrive, maybe we can combat some of that negativity. We want to be a community that loudly, and proudly show that women are capable of amazing things, and supported by other women, we can be unstoppable.